Friday, 15 January 2016

Let Go ..........



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Recently within a span of a month, there were two extreme events happening in the family, a birth and a death. Events, that bond and unite the family members.
My husband's nephew became father to a little angel while my sister-in-law lost her husband. While the family rejoiced looking at the pink baby and gushed over it, there was a sober melancholic feeling at the death.

Death, as I have seen, brings people together, at least temporarily. They forget their hostility, not only with the ones who have died, but also with those living around them. May be it is “smashana vairagya.” But as I perceive it, it is a realization, at least temporarily, that you are not the boss of your life, rather death. One becomes subdued, as the realization is drawn that each one of us is equally vulnerable. It hits really hard, when the death is unexpected and sudden. One gets philosophical, even spiritual after visiting a dead.

But does it last long? Alas, no.Forgetfulness is a beautiful gift of God. Otherwise life would become unbearable if one doesn't forget and moves on with the life. If we keep remembering every hurt, every pain and every ill feeling, there won't be any future. At the same time, forgetting the hard learned and hard hitting lessons is also a tragedy, a loss – as the lessons learnt would soon be forgotten.

Does the Universe, the nature plays with the living? Yes. It plays with the memory as well as with the forgetfulness of the human beings. In psychology, memory is the process in which information is encoded, stored and retrieved. It is here that we can win or try to win over the nature. OK, by nature, the moment we look at a thing, hear a word or get to smell something, it is stored in our memory.  And we can recall it only when we locate and retrieve it so that it returns to consciousness. How blissful would it be, if we are able to permanently erase the unpleasant and retain only the happy memories!

Do children have better memory than adults? It appears so but the fact is adults have better memory, the ability to remember more information, more accurately and for a longer period of time. This gives old dogs, who have more experiences, a leg up on younger ones. But how beautiful it would be, like children, if we are able to forget and forgive more easily and be able to recall only the pleasant and the positive?

This virtue is all the more evident in toddlers, who are so easy to please, always willing and coming forth to help and remain blissfully unaware of the darker side of the world, of human nature. I would like to close this article by recalling one beautiful incident that happened recently.

 I, along with children, recently attended a birthday bash at Woodrose club at
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Brigade Millennium. After dinner, I went in search of a wash room. It was a big open air complex, and in the darkness, I was at a loss. As I was wandering around,I heard a sweet voice “Haaaiii” and I looked down at the bright eyes of my husband's nephew's little kids. It brought a warm smile on my face, lifted my spirits and I inquired what were they doing in that darkness.

Pointing a finger down the alley in the club, they asked me whether they can go down to play. Alarmed, I forbade them and asked them to return. Then cheekily they asked me why I was there. Just conversationally I mentioned that I am searching a wash room and walked ahead. Down the stairs, at a distance, I spotted the room. Leaving them on the stairs, I went down, walked and went inside.

After sometime when I opened the door, I was shocked to see two pairs of eyes looking at me waiting expectantly! I looked around just to check whether they have accompanied some body else, but gosh no, they have come down as my bodyguards!!! Seeing me, again as a  warm smile lit their faces and they started their reverse path escorting me. As they sprinted ahead of me I swallowed hard at the lump in my throat.

What a beautiful innocence, and what a selfless natural sweet gesture!!!

God, please let them and all the kids in the world retain this sweet innocent nature, and let us elders let go of our bitterness, erase our negative memories and try to follow their path and learn to live and let live.

 “............. The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward...”
Steve Maraboli